drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
