we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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