I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
A bitchslap is in order.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
