My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
