Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thus making me awesome and them whores
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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