that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
