We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
