Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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