Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
