We won't sleep together?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
