Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
