he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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