i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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