we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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