Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
