How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
