I just threw up on my dentist
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
