im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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