yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Floor bacon is actually really good
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
