y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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