well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
