the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
