Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
