dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize