She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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