all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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