dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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