I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was like eating out sand paper
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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