Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
