called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
