that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize