why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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