I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
