yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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