shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
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I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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