There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
