And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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