I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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