SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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