I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
