i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
