that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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