Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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