It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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