4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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