I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Its about making memories worth repressing
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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