i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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