I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are the jesus of drinking
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
