I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
