My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
