So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
