Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
