Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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