We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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