maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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