Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
