Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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