Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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