He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
