bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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