so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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