This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The ass gains better be worth it
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