I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
